


Beauty Always Withers

by eerieEllyllon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerieEllyllon/pseuds/eerieEllyllon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Beauty always withers, Sollux, that's why we try so hard to make it last."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty Always Withers

"Hold still Sol, I want to take a picture."  
"Another one?" I raised an eyebrow at the girl next to me with a laugh. "Fine, one more. I don't see why you need so many photographs of me though, AA. We see each other everyday."  
"Every moment is one that won't ever happen again, Sollux." Aradia giggled, raising her beloved camera up to face. She grinned as she pressed the button and received a satisfying clicking sound. "Photographs, however, will last a long time."  
"In that case, we should be getting more of you," My hand drifted to her face, brushing aside a stray lock of hair and gently caressing her cheek. "After all, you are so beautiful."  
"Beauty always withers, Sollux, that's why we try so hard to make it last."  
\---------------  
Aradia Megido is the most wonderful girl a guy could ever ask for. She's kind at heart, quirky in nature, and not to mention absolutely stunning with her curly, cinnamon hair and adorkable smile. She's perfect, and I am impossibly lucky to have her be mine, and I her's.  
Saturday morning she said that she wanted to go on an adventure that afternoon, and I chuckled at the choice of words. Figures she'd rather go running off into the wilderness for a date over the usual dinner and movie, and that she'd even had a place in mind. "It's a couple hours drive out of town, but there's this forest that's supposed to be pretty cool. There's also a waterfall there somewhere, so I thought we could try finding it."  
Sounded like the perfect opportunity to do something I've wanted to do for a long time now.  
That's why we were in the car, driving through fog in the middle of nowhere. It was quiet, only the hum of the engine could be heard as we cruised through the country side. It was a little bit hard to see, but I felt there was enough vision ahead to keep going. There hadn't been any other drivers passing through for quite a while, and hey, if we needed to I could always pull over by one of these farms and wait for conditions to improve.  
Aradia was seated next to me in the passenger seat, content with reading one of her books. She tended to like darker tales, and sometimes would read them aloud to me. While the genre wasn't my usual taste, I enjoyed listening to her, especially the strange way she tried giving each character a different voice. Once, we had tried having myself read out of a novel, but it wasn't the same with my lisp. She insisted it was fine, but I don't think it was one of my strong suites.  
"What's this one about? You seem pretty into it."  
"Hm? Oh, yeah, it's about this man that can see ghosts. It's been done at least a thousand times before, but it's actually not all that bad..." She paused for a second to flip the page.  
"I'm impressed you can stand reading it in the car. I generally get sick if I try that."  
"You're driving, so you better not be trying to read." She looked up and out the windshield, and frowned. "Can you see alright out there? It's gotten pretty bad since I last checked."  
"I can see all I need to at the moment, don't worry about it."  
"You sure?"  
I glanced toward her, "Yes, AA, I am. We should be getting there soon, so you can keep reading for now."  
"Sollux, I don't think this is safe..." She argued, closing the book. "We shoul-" Her eyes widened as a large shadow came into the view, and there wasn't enough time left for her to even scream.  
Time slowed down and sounds were smashing into my ears. Glass was shattering, metal was being torn apart like cloth, and something was snapping. It was loud enough to drown out almost everything, and it was a long time before I noticed I was sideways, strapped down and unable to make myself move.  
Something warm and wet dripping down my body. Rain? I squinted my eyes open, no, that can't be right. Rain isn't so red, this had to be blood, but where was it coming from?  
A voice was speaking, sobbing to another I couldn't hear. This wasn't Aradia's voice, and I'm sure nobody else was in the car with us.  
Then it hit me: this person wasn't in our vehicle. They were from the truck we collided with, the one we hit because I couldn't see what lane we were in.  
I tried to speak, to check if my passenger was still there, but it was all so dark and hazy. My mouth couldn't speak, and I felt like I was falling.  
My eyes closed briefly. Sirens screamed in the distance now, but I could only barely hear it over the awful noises burned into my mind. Just moments later there was more medal being wrecked around me, and I was carefully removed.  
"Are you awake? Can you tell us your name, or what happened..?"  
"...AA..." I could barely think now, and failed to comprehend the majority of their questions. After all, I could barely hear them now or see the fuzzy image before me, it all felt so far away. The distance between me and that scene grew, before finally falling into darkness.  
\---------------  
A heart monitor beeped hollowly in the dimly lit room. My body hurt all over, throbbing as my pulse echoed in my ears. Slowly, I came to realize I was laying in a hospital bed, blood and fluids being pushed into my system through an IV. Yes, I could remember what happened briefly. We were driving in the fog, there was a truck, and then an accident...  
Aradia. Where was Aradia?  
My eyes shot wide open even with how exhausted I felt, and my fingers slowly made their way to the call-nurse button on the bed side. One came rather quickly, pushing me back down on the bed as I tried to sit up. "Sir, I know you're disoriented, but you've lost a lot of blood and need to rest."  
"Th-there was a g-girl with me..."  
My heart dropped further than it already was when I saw the nurse's face. This couldn't be good, that's definitely not the face you use to tell someone their girlfriend is perfectly fine.  
"I'm sorry to say this, but your friend is currently in the OR for emergency surgery. If you are able, we'd like to ask you some questions."  
I tried to swing my legs to the side so I could get up, but it hurt /bad/ when I even attempted such a move. What happened to my legs?  
"You really shouldn't try getting up, you might reopen a wound or get something broken even worse. Now, can you identify you and that girl, and if there's any family we can contact?"  
I took a second to breath, trying to accept what was going on. In any case, I couldn't do anything for Aradia like this. Her family also has a right to know where she was too...  
"Sollux Captor, and A-Aradia Megido..." I finally choked out, answering these questions was the only think I could do right then.  
\---------------  
My dad and brother both came to the hospital as soon as they were able, and they were throwing all sorts of questions at the doctors. I knew they were worried about me, but while I was pretty beat up, I'm not the one that needs all that concern. There were cuts and bruises all over me, a nasty gash in the side of my head and another in my side, and both of my legs were broken... But they were able to do stitches while I was out of it, there was no need to send me in for surgery. Aradia, however...  
When paramedics arrived at the accident, they didn't think she was alive at first. Her head was cracked open and her neck at an odd angle, glass was stabbed into her person. When the truck saw us in front of them, they think that the driver tried to turn and get out of the way, but they did so far too late. By doing so, it ended up hitting her side of the car hardest. They nearly ended up putting her in a body bag before they realized she still had a small pulse.  
I could barely pay attention to my family. This couldn't be happening, it felt like a dream, a really bad dream. Nervously, I was just waiting for news on Aradia's surgery, the nurse had promised to tell me when it ended, and if she made it or not.  
The nurse entered the room, and my face snapped upward to look her in the face. Good news was that Aradia survived the surgery, though bad news was they didn't know what lasting damage there would be when she wakes up, if she wakes up.  
Aradia was alive for now, that's all I needed before I let myself go back to sleep. Maybe in the morning she'll be awake and her usual self, and everything will be okay...  
\---------------  
The next morning, after I insisted upon it, they put me in a wheelchair and took me to see her. Aradia hadn't woken up yet, and with all the bandages and casts she looked to be in really bad shape, but the monitor beside her kept beeping, assuring me that she hadn't left me just yet.  
"AA..?" I said, taking one of her limp hands in mine, carefully putting my fingers between her's. "Sorry about that... I should have pulled over earlier, and this wouldn't have happened."  
"Though, I should probably wait for you to wake up before I really apologize..."  
"I'm sure you'll be okay then, and then, I can make up for it somehow."  
Yeah, she'll definitely be okay when she wakes up, right?  
"Beauty always withers, Sollux..."  
As much as I wanted to hear her voice, I wished it had been something that hurt less to think.  
"How long do you think it'll be before she wakes?" I asked the nurse waiting by the door.  
He shrugged, "The drugs would have worn off by now, so I guess that could happen any minute."  
"I see... In that case, I'll stay here until she opens her eyes."  
\---------------  
But she never did. Hours passed as I sat there, feeling worse and worse with each passing second. She should have woken up by now, but she had yet to even stir. The doctors came in a few times to check on her, but all they would tell me was that Aradia was comatose right now. After a while, they told me to get some rest and wheeled me back to my room.  
As soon as I was left to have my privacy, I cried. I had held them back in AA's room, but now that I was alone I couldn't hold them back anymore. The sloppy tears flooded down my face and dripped down to the bed sheets tightly grasped in my hands. I bit down on my lip in attempt to hold back sobs, but pathetic noises still slipped from my mouth.  
\---------------  
Though I would be in a wheelchair for a while, they said I didn't need to stay in the hospital and discharged me a few days after the accident. At my request, Mituna took me out to get flowers for Aradia's room. She still hadn't woken up yet, but it wouldn't hurt to give her something nice to look at when she does. It didn't take long to make a selection once a bundle of bright red roses caught my eye. Red was one of Aradia's favorite colors, and it suited her perfectly.  
From there we went straight to the hospital, and then to her room. My brother promised to come back for me later, and left so could I could visit my friend in peace. I was glad of that, it'd be awkward having someone watch you speak with someone who can't reply, maybe not even hear you. Though, I had a feeling she could hear me. I sure hope she could.  
After setting up the flowers in a vase, I turned the chair so I could face her. I took her hand in mine, and starting talking to her. I tried to keep it cheerful, speaking about how I'll be taking a break from my programming work, or about this cool forest I heard about online that we might take a trip together to. There was lots of ideas I told her about for after she gets out of hospital, and as the words came out I realized how many things I still wanted to do, how bright a future with her I was still clinging to. The subject changed to asking her when she was going to wake up, and I felt something cold in my chest as I asked such a thing. There was waves where I started feeling rather emotional, but I kept talking, hoping my voice would lead her back home.  
\---------------  
It quickly became a daily routine to visit Aradia. Most days, expecially at first, Mituna escorted me to the hospital, but I was getting pretty used to using the wheel chair on my own.  
Every once in a while I'd see her family visiting, and generally I would wait for them to leave before entering the room. The gazes they threw at me were like knives stabbing into my back, the guilt of the scenario burning into me. I don't blame them for it, this was all my fault, but I still couldn't stand them looking at me.  
One day when I arrived, I found that the flowers I had bought for her had wilted. The petals were dried out and scattered around the vase, and the few that still hung limp from the plant looked pathetic. I made a mental note to buy some more and change them out tomorrow.  
But a week later, those flowers had died too. I got more, but every bundle of flowers I brought would die within a week's time. By the time I was allowed to walk with the aid of crutches, I gone through countless bouquets. It was unsettling to see death in any form beside Aradia, so I nearly stopped buying the things until a friend had a suggestion.  
Kanaya, a reliable young lady who worked part-time at the flower shop, notice how many times I had the flowers replaced, and had an idea. She started showing me how to make fake flowers out of ribbons and fabric.  
At the beginning, it was difficult to do. I was far too used to making things on the computer instead of using my hands to cut and sew the materials together. The first one I made didn't even look like a plant, it looked a little more like internal organs. My fingers nearly bled a few times when I stabbed myself with the needle. With practice, they started to be more pretty and flower-like, and once enough were made to fill a small vase I brought them with me on a trip to visit Aradia. These would last, these wouldn't wither.  
I ran out of supplies at one point, so I started programming after visiting hours ended so I could earn some money. Some nights I admit, I really wasn't getting as much sleep as my body needed. Often I'd even wake up slumped over my computer desk, where I had passed out at while working. Mituna wasn't thrilled with this sort of sleep schedule, but he didn't seem like he was going to do anything about it.  
It was during my visits to Aradia I would get to making the flowers. I would sit next to her and talk, and my hands would be busy at work putting the pretty things together. Sometimes I would even write letters to her on the fabric before I created the decorations, as another friend had said it'd be sweet. I had gotten several vases filled up, so sometimes I would leave flowers around her ears and hair, careful not to bump any of the tubes or wires attached to her. It was starting to look a like a garden surrounding the most beautiful flower of all.  
The activity was calming, but I was still worried. As much as I believed she would wake up, she still had yet to so much as stir in her sleep. Her arms were starting to get noticeably thinner, and her cheeks were starting to sink. She looked peaceful, yes, but she also looked like she was very sick.  
\---------------  
How long was she going to sleep? For so long, she never showed any signs of coming back to me. I did some digging online, but I didn't like what I found.  
The longer she slept the less likely she was to wake up. We were nearing the point where odds of even partial recovery were below seven percent, and a full recovery seemed out of the question. Slowly, though it stung deep and coldly into my chest, though it made me hate my own guts, I wasn't starting to realize that she wasn't going to make it.  
"Beauty always withers, Sollux..." The words played through my head countless times when I came to see her. She was dying right in front of me.  
"...That's why we try so hard to make it last." I gripped her hand tightly, trying to give her soul an anchor to hold onto so she wouldn't slip away. Her breathing was shallower as of late, her heart rate slowly dropping each day. I knew she was going to be taken far away soon, and I couldn't help her.  
I wouldn't get to see her smile again, I would never hear her voice as she read to me. All those adventures we had yet to have were beyond my reach. The future we were going to have together was gone because I had been so reckless before.  
I sat beside her sleeping figure for a long time. If I closed my eyes, I could see death, straight across from me and lingering at her side. It was almost as if it was teasing me, drawing out the consequences of my actions as much as possible so as to torment me. Despite the bad company, Aradia didn't seem scared at all. Her expression held the peace of one who's accepted their fate, calmly prepared for what lay ahead.  
Hesitating slightly, I reached into my pocket to pull out a small box. It was stained with blood and slightly crushed, but I still kept it with me. It held some hope for me, a promise I was going to make to her. I opened it, and with shaking fingers I took the ring out. I slipped it onto her finger before kissing the back of her hand. "AA, wherever you're about to go, just wait for me there..." I paused for a minute, not wanting my voice to cut out. "I love you, Aradia, and when I get there I'll make you the happiest girl to ever live," I smiled sadly at the poor choice of words, but continued anyway, "Then we can be together, forever, and I'm sure we'll have lots of adventures together... Just you, and me."  
I took her hand in both of mine, and pressed it softly against my cheek. "So please wait for me."  
\---------------  
It was a rainy Sunday morning when I received the call that it looked like Aradia was going to die soon and I should get to the hospital. I hurried to get dressed and ready to go, but when I got to the front door I hesitated. Did I really want to see this? Watch as she takes her final breath and then goes cold?  
I took a deep breath and grasped the chilled doorknob with my sweaty hand. I had to be there for her, right until the end.  
As soon as I was outside in the drizzling rain, I took off running. I ran and ran, not caring that I lacked an umbrella nor what the traffic in the streets I crossed warned me. I had to hurry, I had to get there in time.  
Her older sister was sitting just outside the hospital, taking cover from the rain in the entrance while she smoke. I ran straight past her, into the hospital. I slowed down to a quick walk, starting to breath heavily as I followed the path I knew by heart by now: the path to her room.  
Aradia was alone in the room save for a nurse checking on her. I was mildly surprised her parents weren't here right now, even though they didn't come as often as I did you'd expect they'd at least get out of work for this... but I suppose I had better things to worry about.  
The nurse exited the room to give me a moment, and I sat down at her bedside, wiped my hands dry on the bed sheet, and then took her hand in both of mine. Ah, shoot, mine were shaking... I took a deep breath and put as much willpower as I could to still them. It didn't do much to help. As I breathed out, the air got caught in my throat for a moment, and I bit down on my lip. She could still hear me, I was sure of that, but what was I supposed to say?  
I glanced at all the equipment attached to different parts of her body. Her heartbeat was irregular and the IV drip was nearly empty. The flowers I had made for her lay on a nearby table. The room was cold. The presence of death I sensed across from me was there clearer than before. It felt as though it was even holding her opposite hand. It was quiet, painfully so. All I could hear was the heart monitor and the soft sound of rain in the distance, but this silence felt heavy enough to cover those up. It was waiting for something else to break it, for me to finally say my good bye.  
My thumb brushed gently at the back of her hand and my gaze locked on her face. Her cheeks were slightly sunken, given her features a solemn tint. Fluffy eyelashes adorned her closed eyes, they looked just as they did whenever she closed them in thought. Her lips were nearly as pale as her skin had become. It was a sad sight, but overall she still somehow managed to seem peaceful.  
If I'm going to say something, I realized I needed to say it now. This wasn't something that could wait. I gave her hand a squeeze and cleared my throat.  
"Aradia, I-" I was cut off as the monitor abruptly flat lined, the noise resounding it the room. A doctor and a nurse entered the room almost immediately, and started checking things. As they worked, I couldn't drag my eyes away from her face. Even as they told me that it was over, she was gone, I felt as though for a second she had smiled.  
\---------------  
I stayed there, frozen to the spot, for a long time. Eventually, the staff told me that I needed to go home and get some rest now. Numbly, I stood up, and left the building without another word.  
The rain had picked up considerably, fat drops of water and hail pelting down on me. Wind whipped at my body, biting at any piece of skin it could reach. I suppose it would had stung, but I could barely feel it.  
My apartment was dark and empty when I reached it. Dad and my brother must have been at work or something, but I felt slightly relieved to have nobody pestering me about what happened today. When I dragged my feet ahead a few steps, I felt water dripping down my face. In a haze, I questioned briefly why it was falling onto my face when I was inside, but as I brought my hand to my eyes I realized this wasn't rain water.  
The journey from the front door to my room felt like it lasted an eternity, and I flopped straight onto my bed without thinking to change out of my wet clothes. I closed my eyes and laid there until sleep dragged me far away.  
\---------------  
"Sollux, there's dinner on the table," Mituna's voice was tinged in hesitance as he opened my bedroom door a crack. He sighed as his words were meant with silence. "You really should eat something."  
A pillow was launched at the door, hitting it with a dull flop.  
"...I'll put yours in the fridge, eat it once you're ready." The door slowly creaked closed, and I heard footsteps walk away.  
I wasn't hungry. I just wanted to stay there in the dark, as uncomfortable as the dampness was becoming. I couldn't accept that this had happened, that I had done such thing to her...  
This was all my fault, wasn't it?  
I sat up slowly, breathing becoming uneven again. I had been falling in and out of nightmarish sleep all day, and here I had come to find myself unable to pass out again. Shaking terribly I rose to my feet, thinking that I might at least get a drink of water.  
\---------------  
A week's time of hiding in the dark retreat of my room passed, and the time came for Aradia's funeral. It was cold and clouded that day, giving it all a fittingly gloomy atmosphere. My feet seemed heavier with each step as I slowly walked toward the old church, where a accumulation of friends stood within a small sea of black clothing. Many of them were crying, trying futilely to quiet their sobs. Others were trying to put on a brave face while they comforted the more openly sorrowful of the group, not realizing how much pain could be seen in their own eyes.  
The official funeral was scheduled for fifteen minutes later than I had arrived, so I took a seat. A few friends walked up to me in attempt to start conversation, but after they were met with silence they seemed to get the idea and left me alone for the most part. I knew they meant well, but I was really not in the mood for it.  
Another person approached me, but instead of saying anything they pushed a big bundle of something into my arms. I opened my eyes to see the dozens of fake flowers I had made in my lap, and glanced up to see Kanaya standing in front of me.  
"...What are all these for?"  
"I think you already know."  
I looked down at the flowers, the ones with words scrawled onto their petals catching my attention. These words were the ones I wrote so carefully to her. These were messages were from the heart, things I wanted to make sure reaches hers. I needed them to be delivered.  
I stood up and started pushing my way through the crowd. Most of the people willingly walked stepped out of the way, clearing my path to Aradia, who lay in a half open casket. I began placing the flowers around her, delicately put in her curly hair. The ones with the letters were tucked into her hands, for her to hold onto and take with her on her next adventure.  
Wherever she was about to go, surely, these words will reach her.  
\---------------  
Quite some time since the funeral, I was lounging around in my room working on my computer. My hands were hovering over the keyboard as I tried to recall how to do one trick I had done many times before. Sighing, I stood up and strode toward my closet, looking for my helpful book of references. I found it almost immediately, but as I pulled it out my attention was grabbed by the object behind it.  
Aradia's old camera.  
I could clearly remember that day so long ago when she lost that thing, and the search she lead to find it. Of course, we didn't find it at the time so we ended up buying her a new one, but who would have thought it'd be there of all places? It wasn't exactly carefully hidden, so why didn't we find it then?  
I pulled it out and inspected it, noticing a memory card still plugged into it. I took the card out and put it in my computer, just so I could see the photos on there. Most of them were of me, random objects, and random scenery. I found myself smiling softly as I flipped through them, but froze when I reached a picture of her.  
She was smiling so brightly, as though she was the happiest girl on earth. After a moment of staring, I started looking at the others, skipping ahead to the ones she was in. In all of them, Aradia looked really happy or at peace, enthusiasm poured into anything she was doing at the time of the photo being taken. I was starting to cry, but I didn't care. I was just so glad to see her so joyful once more.  
I glanced at the camera and made a mental note to get these pictures printed out properly, so I would be able to carry her image with me always. A reminder to keep me going until we meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually my first fanfiction for Homestuck, and of course my first attempt at Sadstuck. (I also kind of feel I didn't do a very good job but you gotta start somewhere)  
> I hope you liked it, comments and critique are very welcome! Thanks for reading!


End file.
